Honest Effort...

So, I've been going on with Mr Traveler for quite some time now... We've been in contact since early December ((I think)) and it's been a constant thing... Every day, an email, or two... We're getting to know each other more... It's nice... It doesn't feel like a 'transaction'... ie: my time for your money... I think it's kind of nice to get to know someone... to genuinely like their personality, and their company... I mean, isn't that how it's supposed to go??? I think so... It makes the apparent differences in age, race, and financial level less obvious and 'in your face'...

Nonetheless... I declined his invitation to go to Philadelphia with him... He was sad, I could hear it, but I made sure to be strong on my decision... It's just too early. We don't know each other that well. I would be lying if I said that I completely trusted him 100%. I'd have to go out of my way to get there... I wouldn't feel comfortable staying over with him... The list goes on... No hard feelings buddy... I just can't...

We have our next date scheduled for the mid of next week... I suggested we do something physical and fun... I mean, I like the whole restaurant/bar thing, but I'm trying to start my Master Cleanse and new fitness regimen soon, and I can't begin to do that if I'm downing Apple Martinis, Manhattans, and chocolate cake... ya know...???

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Basically, here's what was on my mind... This has basically turned into an everyday thing... The constant communication... I feel like he's a priority... I don't mind, honestly, because he's a nice guy... But I can't help but wonder:

  "If you don't want to give me my allowance because you feel we don't meet up enough, why should I have to give you my honest attention, everyday???" 

Is it the same? I think, in a sense... For obvious reasons, we cannot meet 1x a week... He lives a couple of states away... But 2x a month + the everyday communication should = enough of my time and attention to receive an allowance...

I don't know... Tell me what you think, ladies, and David...

1. Do you all think that I might have something here? Am I right? Shouldn't I be rewarded more than a couple of light gifts on every date when I am giving more than expected? 
2. Am I wrong? Should I not focus on this? Does all of this effort in building the rapport eventually pay off in the long run? I mean, this is the first time I've had this long of a 'relationship' so far...
3. Do you think it might be a good idea to bring it up? And if so, how might you suggest I do this without potentially messing up any good I might have already built? If not, why...

Whew... I haven't typed that fast, that much in quite a while... Being a chemistry major in college, I don't spend much time working my fingers like that... School starts in a week, and I feel like it was only a week ago that I was crying for finals to be over... *sigh*

I need some chocolate, cookie dough, with fudge swirls ice cream, with chocolate sprinkles atop...

-CCSB

Lesson Learned...

After my first date with Mr Capoeira... things seemed good... We'd talked about our expectations, we got along, and the sexual chemistry was so apparent...
For our second date, we met for drinks in the city... And decided to head back to his place afterwards... He had a nice place... But there were security cameras everywhere!!! It was freaky... He explained it was because he had lots of valuables... I didn't spot anything worth 7-8 cameras... but whatev...

Long story short, we ended up having sex... It was so upsettingly disappointing... It might  have been because he was an inch away from being drunk.. Maybe he was not as good as his looked like he'd be...

7am the next morning... He made a quick breakfast and we chatted for a bit... He payed for my cab ride home, and gave me a little extra, and I was off...

I spent New Year's Eve at home... I was spent and didn't have any energy to even think about going out...

We're still talking, but obviously, after sex, the excitement of the prospect of the arrangement isn't as strong--on both sides... Needless to say, it was a bad choice on my part to 1) have sex with a prospective that early...  2)have sex with a guy that was drunk

I've learned my lesson... And I've already started looking for electric shocking panties online...

*zap .zapzap***

-CCSB

Mr Traveler...

So, after what seemed like forever... I had my first date with Mr Traveler...

I introduced him, a while ago... some time in December, I think... We've been emailing each other everyday, at least 5x a day since then... It felt nice... I was hooked to it... I'd check my email to see his message... I'd write back and then wait some more... I figured, why not take time to build a rapport??? I mean, if the guy feels he knows me, and likes me... then wouldn't he want to gift me more??? If he's getting the attention, then he'll want to reward me...???

Anyway, he was in NYC for a couple days, for work, and it was finally the time... We met at his hotel bar... I didn't know what to expect... I mean, I'd seen his photos, but they're almost never accurate anymore... I wouldn't use the word "handsome"... But he wasn't plain out ugly... In the dim lighting, he was-- ok...

Beer belly, sneakers, and jeans... I could tell he was nervous, anxious and a bit self-conscious about his dress... But I reassured him, it was fine... We sat at the bar for about 2 hours... I swore he was talking so loud, it was scary... I kept fearing that the group of women sitting nearby knew what expected from this arrangement as well...

I'd been battling a fever all weekend, and my throat was sore... I ordered a Manhattan, and it soothed my throat a bit... But I wasn't in the mood for drinking...

In our last couple of emails... He closed off with info on where he was staying... And I ended  with my # and my paypal email... He replied so quickly... "Why'd you give me your paypal? Were you expecting something?" Of course I was!!! You think I shower you with all of this time and attention because you're a great person...???

I was nervous, but so glad that I made that move--and made the hint... After we left the bar, we headed up to his hotel room, for him to get his coat... He wanted to walk me to the subway... He had 3 dozen roses waiting for me, and a little bag stuffed with tissue paper... I'm so not good with surprises... It was sweet...

Inside, there were some chocolates... and some Visa gift cards... I gave him a nice hug, and we headed for the door... The walk to the train, was nice and relaxing... The chill in the air woke me up ((I'd had a long day)) and the bright lights of the city made the air exciting and optimistic...

He gave me a kiss on the cheek, and I hopped and skipped on down the steps into the subway...


Okay... So, he lives out of state, and can't make it to NYC often to meet... He can. however, meet some place else more frequently... He wants to meet again, but this time in another state... He's already asked if I wouldn't mind going out there, for dinner, and back, next week... I have some reservations:

• I've never traveled out of state for someone... Well, I did, with Mr SJP... but... that wasn't so far...
• I'll need to make sure it's an all expenses-paid trip...
• I don't know it I'm comfortable with the idea of it. Where would we meet? What would we do? 
• I'd hope he wouldn't have sex on his mind as something to happen... Sooo not happening...

Let me know, Sugar Council...

   Think I should take the trip...??? It's in a week's time... I don't know...

Till next time...

-CCSB

Baby... It's Cold Outside...

Ahhh.... The winter chill has finally come on down to NY...

Since the fall, we've had lovely, crisp weather... Cool enough to layer, but not cold enough to have to stay in... But since the new year, the weather has dropped significantly... I can't wear tweed mini skirts with tights and boots now... it's too cold for a commuter like myself...

Now, I have to reconsider things... wardrobe, times to meet for dates...

I'm thinking about new options: Heavier coats, thicker tights, new jeans, fuller knit sweaters, knee length pencil skirts, lusher scarves, fitted dresses, wedge booties...

Now, I've got to find one of these guys to take me to the mall...

-CCSB

First Date Bliss

Okay... So, I went to see Mr Capoeira on Thursday evening...

   We met up at a cute little sushi place, in the city... Either I'd been talking to too many unattractive men, or he was just that handsome... But, Mr Capoeira was even better looking than his photos online... For a moment I just stared... He had long, twisted dread locs... He was tall, and his muscles could be seen under his coat... He had that little bit of bow-leggedness, that I love so much... Everything about him was sexy... From his Kango to his crip black top, to his fitted pants ((and what an ass he had)). I was so happy to have found a Pot that was this fine... I thought, "hey, this should make everything easier"...

    I'd never had sushi, and was reluctant to try anything... So, I drank... I'm not a big drinker, but I can hold liquor... I tried Sake... it wasn't my cup of tea, but he loved it... Mr Capoeira ate 6 plates of raw fish, and I had 2 glasses of wine, a martini, and a cosmo...

   The conversation was light, and airy... I don't know if it was because he was that funny, or that amazingly fine, but I had a grin on my lips the entire time... As he was placing some food in his mouth, for a moment, I caught my eyes following his chopstick, and caught a glimmer of something shiny in his mouth... When I asked what it was, he stuck his tongue out at me... Mr Capoeira had a two tongue rings in his mouth... I couldn't believe it... That struck up an entire different conversation... Turns out he also pierced his nipples and his penis... It took me by surprise... Here I am... 'Little miss conservative', sitting across from 'Mr Freak'... But it wasn't gross... It was so sexy... I was intrigued...

   After the sushi was long gone, and his drinks seemed to take hold, he loosened up... The physical attraction was there... the chemistry was... I kept wanting to kiss him... He asked me what I wanted, and then I had to focus... This is usually where I had the most problems... Expressing what it was I wanted from men... With a deep breath, I told him... I wanted an allowance for a set number of dates, etc... But he was so fine... I added, since I was so attracted to him, and since we got along so well, we could meet up more if time permitted...

   He didn't like the idea of an allowance right away... And insisted something that sounded like a trial period...  before considering an allowance... I was secretly upset... A trial period...??? Hmph... He told me what he expected... STD Testing, some sort of contraceptive ((any other man, and this would have been so gross))... He wanted lacy lingerie, and heels... And he told me how much he loved the way my hair fell on my shoulders...  ((that weave was a GOOD idea))... But if after said "evaluation" he decided not to agree to the arrangement, then what..??? I would have wasted time, shoes, money and energy on nothing...

   Still we talked about it... He talked a lot... It was good, though... I sat back and watched him tell me about himself without literally doing so... He was so easy to read... Mr Capoeira was cocky, and so sure about himself... He claimed he knew the woman's body in and out... He told me about his past arrangement... He had so many companies, my website, my hourly rate... blah blah blah... It was amusing...

   After dinner, he took me to Sephora... And let be walk up and down the aisles... He said his sister worked in make-up, and he had an appreciation of it all... It wasn't a giftcard, but I checked that late gift off of  my Christmas wish-list... Mr Capoeira bought me +$300 in makeup and fragrances... If this was what the trial period was going to consist of, then, I'd have no problem...

   Still, he was so sexy... His walk was slow, and deliberate... His back was hard under his trench... and his ass... ladies... I wanted him so badly...

   Afterwards, he offered to put me in a cab, but I didn't accept... I thanked him for everything with a nice, long hug... He was strong, and I could tell he didn't want me to leave... We parted ways, with that, and I took the train home...

   Once I exited the subway, I had a text waiting for me...

"Had a great time. You have the prettiest smile and the most gorgeous legs. Can't wait till tomorrow.
-A"

   I went to bed  really easy that night...

-CCSB

Jumping the Gun...

SO... I said I was going to get back into this strong... and it seems all of my work has been paying off... I was supposed to meet with Mr Capoeira two days ago, but had to cancel for a family death... I know that I messed up my chanced with Mr Big for cancelling, so I decided to try again... He hadn't hit me up since then... So, this evening, I just called him...

His voice was surprisingly sexy on the phone. He said the same about me... ((I swore he read my mind)) After small chit chat, I simply asked what he was doing tonight... He said he was free... So, I asked him out... Plain and simple... And to my surprise, he said "I'd like that..."

We have a date in a few hours at a sushi spot in Midtown... I'm excited, but not nervous... He seems really down to earth, and fun... Not to mention, he's kind of hot... ((I love a man with dreds))... Hopefully this works out...

Talk to you lovelies when I get home...

-CCSB

Diligent Little Elf...

I know it's the Holiday season, and I should be spending it with friends and family ((with I have done here and there)), but I have been working hard to reestablish myself with the Sugar world... I've reset many profiles on different sites, and spent hours upon hours emailing, messaging, and talking back and forth with numerous men...
This time, it seems different, though... I'm not as stressed or pressed to find a potential now... It's all coming back to me now, and being patient ((and perhaps taking that break)) is working for me...

I have a few potentials lined up...

    Mr Traveler: Older, white male... beady little eyes... lol... He claims to have traveled the world... Private jets, etc... He doesn't reside in NY... so that's good for me... We all know I can't stomach a man who isn't nice on the eyes for long... He'd like to set up something where we'd meet only when he's in town--up to twice a month... I proposed my allowance, but he prefers p4p... we'll see... Since it's the holiday seaosn, and he's with  his family... we cannot meet up until mid January... Hopefully this doesn't fall through by then... I'd hate to have given quality attention to a potential for nothing... He's already asked about the things Santa forgot to drop off from my Christmas list... I mentioned the Canon camera and the MAC/Sephora giftcards... Hopefully, he'll send me a lil sum sumn to hold me over between now and January...

    Mr Capoeira: A younger, quite handsome, able-bodied black man... Says he was a professional dancer, but now teaches Capoeira... Love that ladies... :)  He seems more reserved, so I haven't pushed things on him as I've done with other Pots... He does seem experienced with this sort of relationship though... He doesn't seem to be looking for much and even brought up the idea of an allowance before I said anything... I know to be wary though... I offered to meet with him today, actually, but due to a spur of the moment Vegas trip, he won't be available till this weekend... No biggies, I told him to hit me up when he's back in town...

I did go ahead and install my hair as I wanted... Super lush and super long... A very different look for me... I'm coming into the new year with a new attitude, and hopefully it'll work out for the better...

Happy Sugar Dancing...
-CCSB

Starting Again...

Firstly... Hello again you lovely ladies... A very Merry Every and Anything it is you choose to celebrate this Holiday Season... I pray you get everything you wish for... Good company, health, wealth, and sugar opportunities... There's something magical about this time of year... I'd like to sprinkle a little bit of sparkley dust to each one of you...

I've decided not to buy anyone Christmas gifts this year. I'm saving up for a car, and it's killing me... but I know it'll be so worth it... I'm even going to do my best to not buy myself things either... It will be ever so hard, though... However, I do know what it is that I want...

My Christmas Wish List:

1. A Car... duh... 

2. Hot Tools Professional Dryer

3. Canon EOS Rebel T3i 600 18.0 MP Camera.... (((please please please....)))

4. MAC and Sephora Giftcards (of course)

5. A new weave... I'd love to try something new with my hair for the new year... I'm thinking long... and full... Maybe 16"... ((I will be doing this soon))

6. A smoking hot New Year's kiss...

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A recurring theme I've been reading baout on many of your blogs is that of school... Oh man... was this semester a doozy for me... I took on 18 credits, two sports, 3 clubs to manage, two part-time jobs... the list doesn't end there... Needless to say, I didn't do as well academically... Nothing to stress over though... It's over and I can't change anything now... Next year... will be different though... I hope you all aced your finals and grin everyy time you see that juicy A+ on your transcript...

As for my sugar conquests... They were non-existent this whole semester... I basically took a break... Since beginning this journey, I have experienced many things... Met wonderful people, and learned more about myself... I didn't know what I was getting into, and still have questions along the way...
I so don't mean to make this sound like an application essay for a scholarship...

I'm basically trying to say that I'm back... Ready to give it my all this time... I'm going to try things I was afraid to before, and be more agressive... I read all the time that "newbies never last more than a couple of months"... I refuse to fall into that stigma... I've already renewed subscriptions, and reached out to old POTs... Let's see where the cards fall this time...

Side note...

I don't know how many of you women know what this is... But I've been on a hair journey for the past year... I've watched my hair grow longer than it has been my whole life... I decided to do a 4 month stretch, and just today took out my box braids... I am so happy... Can't wait to relax... ((I said it was a side note))

Can't wait to get back into the groove of things with you all...

-CCSB

Okay... Time's-A-Tickin'

"I'm looking for love. Real love... Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can't-live-without-each-other love..." she says...

 I practically melted when Carrie Bradshaw told Alexander that... My favorite season for going out on dates... Showing my toned legs under sheer tights... And sitting in bed with mint-filled chocolate candies, watching seasons of Sex and the City... Don't you love Autumn...???

So, my prayers for a seasonal lovah have yet to be answered... My fingers are so sore, I can barely thread a needle... Masturbation can only go so far... And I'm running out of fantasies... Perhaps I should leave flyers around campus... Hold auditions or something of the sort...

The worst of it is that I'm secretly dying to have something like Carrie described... What woman doesn't see that in her future... Maybe it's in our programming... I'm not looking for a Prince Charming... He doesn't even have to be "tall, dark, or handsome"... I'll start with a nice, thick piece of hardware... Viens, and a little curve wouldn't be too much to ask... no???

All I know is that both my heart, and my kitty are in need of some serious male attention... 

I'm going crazy...

-CCSB

...Getting hard...

It's getting cooler out... The air, more fresh and crisp... Perfect date weather... I'm getting hornier and hornier, too, it seems... If I can't find a man to roll around with soon... I'm going to go crazy...

-CCSB