Letting Go...

Mr Traveler is such a nice guy... I can tell he seriously just wants someone to talk to... A beautiful woman to carry around like a nice handbag...

I can also tell he just wants to get in my pants...

-__-

...can you say "Not Happening???"

I was advised to let him off easily... To simply let him know that it wasn't in our future... Not to waste his or my time... But I don't know... He's such a nice guy, and I can't help but wonder what he'll gift me on our upcoming date next week... No matter what, even if it's my full allowance, cash ((a girl can dream, can't she?)), I'm going to end it with him... I sent him an email today, explaining that I didn't see us being together sexually... He simply said "I'm patient..."

Either way, buddy... it'll never happen... There's absolutely nothing attractive about ya... maybe your gifts are... but still, it's not enough... 

Also, since, MD and I (I've renamed him) are soon to begin our sugar relationship together, I feel I should focus my attention to one and the more beneficial relationship... Mr Traveler has only given me a few hundred bucks, flowers, gifts, etc... It was all lovely and everything, but I can't pay my soon due phone bill, or buy my much needed Chemistry text books with flowers and chocolate, can I...???

MD is simply offering what I want... So, I'll put my time and energy into someone who is going to benefit me... Besides, he's better company, and I feel much more comfortable around him...

Off to class... Learning about 'The Dancing Molecules'

-__-


CCSB

Trying Something New...

Just got in from a nice lunch date with an old potential... I've always liked him, and somehow messed it up in the past... Looks like we have an agreed to get the arrangement going... I'm excited and glad... At least I like the guy, and he's actually kind of attractive--even though he seems extremely insecure about himself... We "officially start" next week... Nothing more to be said about it... for now...

:}

CCSB


ps: I officially love Cosmos...

Cover Your Tracks...

The first rule of it all... Anonymity...

How could I have been so stupid to have not made sure...

I just asked Mr Traveler to send me an eGift card and to my surprise, he did...

Quickly after, he sent me a link to my other blog... My personal blog...

You cannot imagine the horror I felt... He added, "You're so cute..." Omfg... I deleted it so fast... I figure, if I want to do this sugar thing for real, the other blog shouldn't compromise this...

I've done a Google search for myself, and found so many things. God damn this internet saving everything you've ever done... I've just deleted like 6 accounts, a blog, and privated about 12-13 photo albums...

ugh...


***kudos to me, though, for having the guts to straight forward ask him for the card... Can't wait to use it...

CCSB

Honest Effort...

So, I've been going on with Mr Traveler for quite some time now... We've been in contact since early December ((I think)) and it's been a constant thing... Every day, an email, or two... We're getting to know each other more... It's nice... It doesn't feel like a 'transaction'... ie: my time for your money... I think it's kind of nice to get to know someone... to genuinely like their personality, and their company... I mean, isn't that how it's supposed to go??? I think so... It makes the apparent differences in age, race, and financial level less obvious and 'in your face'...

Nonetheless... I declined his invitation to go to Philadelphia with him... He was sad, I could hear it, but I made sure to be strong on my decision... It's just too early. We don't know each other that well. I would be lying if I said that I completely trusted him 100%. I'd have to go out of my way to get there... I wouldn't feel comfortable staying over with him... The list goes on... No hard feelings buddy... I just can't...

We have our next date scheduled for the mid of next week... I suggested we do something physical and fun... I mean, I like the whole restaurant/bar thing, but I'm trying to start my Master Cleanse and new fitness regimen soon, and I can't begin to do that if I'm downing Apple Martinis, Manhattans, and chocolate cake... ya know...???

*****************************************************************

Basically, here's what was on my mind... This has basically turned into an everyday thing... The constant communication... I feel like he's a priority... I don't mind, honestly, because he's a nice guy... But I can't help but wonder:

  "If you don't want to give me my allowance because you feel we don't meet up enough, why should I have to give you my honest attention, everyday???" 

Is it the same? I think, in a sense... For obvious reasons, we cannot meet 1x a week... He lives a couple of states away... But 2x a month + the everyday communication should = enough of my time and attention to receive an allowance...

I don't know... Tell me what you think, ladies, and David...

1. Do you all think that I might have something here? Am I right? Shouldn't I be rewarded more than a couple of light gifts on every date when I am giving more than expected? 
2. Am I wrong? Should I not focus on this? Does all of this effort in building the rapport eventually pay off in the long run? I mean, this is the first time I've had this long of a 'relationship' so far...
3. Do you think it might be a good idea to bring it up? And if so, how might you suggest I do this without potentially messing up any good I might have already built? If not, why...

Whew... I haven't typed that fast, that much in quite a while... Being a chemistry major in college, I don't spend much time working my fingers like that... School starts in a week, and I feel like it was only a week ago that I was crying for finals to be over... *sigh*

I need some chocolate, cookie dough, with fudge swirls ice cream, with chocolate sprinkles atop...

-CCSB

Lesson Learned...

After my first date with Mr Capoeira... things seemed good... We'd talked about our expectations, we got along, and the sexual chemistry was so apparent...
For our second date, we met for drinks in the city... And decided to head back to his place afterwards... He had a nice place... But there were security cameras everywhere!!! It was freaky... He explained it was because he had lots of valuables... I didn't spot anything worth 7-8 cameras... but whatev...

Long story short, we ended up having sex... It was so upsettingly disappointing... It might  have been because he was an inch away from being drunk.. Maybe he was not as good as his looked like he'd be...

7am the next morning... He made a quick breakfast and we chatted for a bit... He payed for my cab ride home, and gave me a little extra, and I was off...

I spent New Year's Eve at home... I was spent and didn't have any energy to even think about going out...

We're still talking, but obviously, after sex, the excitement of the prospect of the arrangement isn't as strong--on both sides... Needless to say, it was a bad choice on my part to 1) have sex with a prospective that early...  2)have sex with a guy that was drunk

I've learned my lesson... And I've already started looking for electric shocking panties online...

*zap .zapzap***

-CCSB

Mr Traveler...

So, after what seemed like forever... I had my first date with Mr Traveler...

I introduced him, a while ago... some time in December, I think... We've been emailing each other everyday, at least 5x a day since then... It felt nice... I was hooked to it... I'd check my email to see his message... I'd write back and then wait some more... I figured, why not take time to build a rapport??? I mean, if the guy feels he knows me, and likes me... then wouldn't he want to gift me more??? If he's getting the attention, then he'll want to reward me...???

Anyway, he was in NYC for a couple days, for work, and it was finally the time... We met at his hotel bar... I didn't know what to expect... I mean, I'd seen his photos, but they're almost never accurate anymore... I wouldn't use the word "handsome"... But he wasn't plain out ugly... In the dim lighting, he was-- ok...

Beer belly, sneakers, and jeans... I could tell he was nervous, anxious and a bit self-conscious about his dress... But I reassured him, it was fine... We sat at the bar for about 2 hours... I swore he was talking so loud, it was scary... I kept fearing that the group of women sitting nearby knew what expected from this arrangement as well...

I'd been battling a fever all weekend, and my throat was sore... I ordered a Manhattan, and it soothed my throat a bit... But I wasn't in the mood for drinking...

In our last couple of emails... He closed off with info on where he was staying... And I ended  with my # and my paypal email... He replied so quickly... "Why'd you give me your paypal? Were you expecting something?" Of course I was!!! You think I shower you with all of this time and attention because you're a great person...???

I was nervous, but so glad that I made that move--and made the hint... After we left the bar, we headed up to his hotel room, for him to get his coat... He wanted to walk me to the subway... He had 3 dozen roses waiting for me, and a little bag stuffed with tissue paper... I'm so not good with surprises... It was sweet...

Inside, there were some chocolates... and some Visa gift cards... I gave him a nice hug, and we headed for the door... The walk to the train, was nice and relaxing... The chill in the air woke me up ((I'd had a long day)) and the bright lights of the city made the air exciting and optimistic...

He gave me a kiss on the cheek, and I hopped and skipped on down the steps into the subway...


Okay... So, he lives out of state, and can't make it to NYC often to meet... He can. however, meet some place else more frequently... He wants to meet again, but this time in another state... He's already asked if I wouldn't mind going out there, for dinner, and back, next week... I have some reservations:

• I've never traveled out of state for someone... Well, I did, with Mr SJP... but... that wasn't so far...
• I'll need to make sure it's an all expenses-paid trip...
• I don't know it I'm comfortable with the idea of it. Where would we meet? What would we do? 
• I'd hope he wouldn't have sex on his mind as something to happen... Sooo not happening...

Let me know, Sugar Council...

   Think I should take the trip...??? It's in a week's time... I don't know...

Till next time...

-CCSB

Baby... It's Cold Outside...

Ahhh.... The winter chill has finally come on down to NY...

Since the fall, we've had lovely, crisp weather... Cool enough to layer, but not cold enough to have to stay in... But since the new year, the weather has dropped significantly... I can't wear tweed mini skirts with tights and boots now... it's too cold for a commuter like myself...

Now, I have to reconsider things... wardrobe, times to meet for dates...

I'm thinking about new options: Heavier coats, thicker tights, new jeans, fuller knit sweaters, knee length pencil skirts, lusher scarves, fitted dresses, wedge booties...

Now, I've got to find one of these guys to take me to the mall...

-CCSB

First Date Bliss

Okay... So, I went to see Mr Capoeira on Thursday evening...

   We met up at a cute little sushi place, in the city... Either I'd been talking to too many unattractive men, or he was just that handsome... But, Mr Capoeira was even better looking than his photos online... For a moment I just stared... He had long, twisted dread locs... He was tall, and his muscles could be seen under his coat... He had that little bit of bow-leggedness, that I love so much... Everything about him was sexy... From his Kango to his crip black top, to his fitted pants ((and what an ass he had)). I was so happy to have found a Pot that was this fine... I thought, "hey, this should make everything easier"...

    I'd never had sushi, and was reluctant to try anything... So, I drank... I'm not a big drinker, but I can hold liquor... I tried Sake... it wasn't my cup of tea, but he loved it... Mr Capoeira ate 6 plates of raw fish, and I had 2 glasses of wine, a martini, and a cosmo...

   The conversation was light, and airy... I don't know if it was because he was that funny, or that amazingly fine, but I had a grin on my lips the entire time... As he was placing some food in his mouth, for a moment, I caught my eyes following his chopstick, and caught a glimmer of something shiny in his mouth... When I asked what it was, he stuck his tongue out at me... Mr Capoeira had a two tongue rings in his mouth... I couldn't believe it... That struck up an entire different conversation... Turns out he also pierced his nipples and his penis... It took me by surprise... Here I am... 'Little miss conservative', sitting across from 'Mr Freak'... But it wasn't gross... It was so sexy... I was intrigued...

   After the sushi was long gone, and his drinks seemed to take hold, he loosened up... The physical attraction was there... the chemistry was... I kept wanting to kiss him... He asked me what I wanted, and then I had to focus... This is usually where I had the most problems... Expressing what it was I wanted from men... With a deep breath, I told him... I wanted an allowance for a set number of dates, etc... But he was so fine... I added, since I was so attracted to him, and since we got along so well, we could meet up more if time permitted...

   He didn't like the idea of an allowance right away... And insisted something that sounded like a trial period...  before considering an allowance... I was secretly upset... A trial period...??? Hmph... He told me what he expected... STD Testing, some sort of contraceptive ((any other man, and this would have been so gross))... He wanted lacy lingerie, and heels... And he told me how much he loved the way my hair fell on my shoulders...  ((that weave was a GOOD idea))... But if after said "evaluation" he decided not to agree to the arrangement, then what..??? I would have wasted time, shoes, money and energy on nothing...

   Still we talked about it... He talked a lot... It was good, though... I sat back and watched him tell me about himself without literally doing so... He was so easy to read... Mr Capoeira was cocky, and so sure about himself... He claimed he knew the woman's body in and out... He told me about his past arrangement... He had so many companies, my website, my hourly rate... blah blah blah... It was amusing...

   After dinner, he took me to Sephora... And let be walk up and down the aisles... He said his sister worked in make-up, and he had an appreciation of it all... It wasn't a giftcard, but I checked that late gift off of  my Christmas wish-list... Mr Capoeira bought me +$300 in makeup and fragrances... If this was what the trial period was going to consist of, then, I'd have no problem...

   Still, he was so sexy... His walk was slow, and deliberate... His back was hard under his trench... and his ass... ladies... I wanted him so badly...

   Afterwards, he offered to put me in a cab, but I didn't accept... I thanked him for everything with a nice, long hug... He was strong, and I could tell he didn't want me to leave... We parted ways, with that, and I took the train home...

   Once I exited the subway, I had a text waiting for me...

"Had a great time. You have the prettiest smile and the most gorgeous legs. Can't wait till tomorrow.
-A"

   I went to bed  really easy that night...

-CCSB

Jumping the Gun...

SO... I said I was going to get back into this strong... and it seems all of my work has been paying off... I was supposed to meet with Mr Capoeira two days ago, but had to cancel for a family death... I know that I messed up my chanced with Mr Big for cancelling, so I decided to try again... He hadn't hit me up since then... So, this evening, I just called him...

His voice was surprisingly sexy on the phone. He said the same about me... ((I swore he read my mind)) After small chit chat, I simply asked what he was doing tonight... He said he was free... So, I asked him out... Plain and simple... And to my surprise, he said "I'd like that..."

We have a date in a few hours at a sushi spot in Midtown... I'm excited, but not nervous... He seems really down to earth, and fun... Not to mention, he's kind of hot... ((I love a man with dreds))... Hopefully this works out...

Talk to you lovelies when I get home...

-CCSB

Diligent Little Elf...

I know it's the Holiday season, and I should be spending it with friends and family ((with I have done here and there)), but I have been working hard to reestablish myself with the Sugar world... I've reset many profiles on different sites, and spent hours upon hours emailing, messaging, and talking back and forth with numerous men...
This time, it seems different, though... I'm not as stressed or pressed to find a potential now... It's all coming back to me now, and being patient ((and perhaps taking that break)) is working for me...

I have a few potentials lined up...

    Mr Traveler: Older, white male... beady little eyes... lol... He claims to have traveled the world... Private jets, etc... He doesn't reside in NY... so that's good for me... We all know I can't stomach a man who isn't nice on the eyes for long... He'd like to set up something where we'd meet only when he's in town--up to twice a month... I proposed my allowance, but he prefers p4p... we'll see... Since it's the holiday seaosn, and he's with  his family... we cannot meet up until mid January... Hopefully this doesn't fall through by then... I'd hate to have given quality attention to a potential for nothing... He's already asked about the things Santa forgot to drop off from my Christmas list... I mentioned the Canon camera and the MAC/Sephora giftcards... Hopefully, he'll send me a lil sum sumn to hold me over between now and January...

    Mr Capoeira: A younger, quite handsome, able-bodied black man... Says he was a professional dancer, but now teaches Capoeira... Love that ladies... :)  He seems more reserved, so I haven't pushed things on him as I've done with other Pots... He does seem experienced with this sort of relationship though... He doesn't seem to be looking for much and even brought up the idea of an allowance before I said anything... I know to be wary though... I offered to meet with him today, actually, but due to a spur of the moment Vegas trip, he won't be available till this weekend... No biggies, I told him to hit me up when he's back in town...

I did go ahead and install my hair as I wanted... Super lush and super long... A very different look for me... I'm coming into the new year with a new attitude, and hopefully it'll work out for the better...

Happy Sugar Dancing...
-CCSB